I woke up and read Judith and Dawn’s remarks and felt instantly better after failing as a toffee bar maker, not to mention Not being in the local newspaper. This is why I like blogging. It helps with the loneliness factor. At least mine. Especially when life is difficult or irritating, not tragic, since when something awful happens, like death, everyone clusters around.
Yesterday, my son and I rushed to a music rehearsal for the Hannukah party at our Temple. This Temple thing is impromptu, not like my son’s orchestra where you have to sign your commitment in blood. And the music is easy, beautiful, but not difficult. We haven’t been able to go to any of the other rehearsals — no need to explain why — you can imagine why, although I feel like listing all of our daily duties just to make it clear how very busy we are. But who isn’t? busy, I mean.
The band members (all adults without homework or bedtimes) had a lot to discuss: where people should stand, how many verses we were going to do of each song, when the flute should play, when the violins should come in (that’s us). Finally, some music happened, but when it was after 8, I broke the news that we were going to have to leave. Dinner, undone homework, sleep. The young man conducter (childless) fixed me with a gimlet eye (dawn, what is a gimlet — I feel you know), and said, “Maybe you could come to more rehearsals next time.” Although it is possible that he was simply expressing his good will, that he would like to see us more, or something nice like that, I went with snide and gimlet-ed back, “We don’t need to play in the concert if you don’t want us.”
“No, no,” he said, backing down, “You may as well play.”
You may as well play. Hmph.
When I was in college, I looked forward to graduating so I could take my rightful place as Queen of the World. There is nothing more humbling than growing up. Also, I am fully aware that Rabbi Hillel, Maimonides, and Jesus Himself would not have been irritated at our poor conductor, who, after all, was just trying to do his job, although none of these holies were responsible for the bedtime of a school child.